All the things

I’ve been kind of quiet over the last three weeks or so. One because I wanted to finish the second draft of Aileen 7. It’s done, by the way. It came in at a whopping 144,000 words. People, it’s Firebird long. And there’s one or two things I need to add that didn’t make it in this round. I’ve never had so much trouble writing a book where I know everything that happens and how I want it to end.

Mostly though, my silence stems from the fact that the twins decided to arrive a full two months early. They were born mid September at 31 weeks. In the early morning hours on the day of the baby shower their grandmother was supposed to be throwing them. (We missed it and spent the hour or so before their arrival frantically texting friends and family not to come because I wouldn’t be there as I was busy giving birth). It figures my daughters would enter this world in a way that would have us telling this story for years after the fact.

Because of their early arrival, they have a decent NICU stay ahead of them. (I should say had since that was several weeks ago now:) They’re doing great. Amazing, actually. All the reports we’ve been getting from the doctors have been very positive. We don’t know exactly when we get to take them home since that is based on their meeting all their development goals. In the meantime, we’ve been using those periods when we are home to prepare all the things we didn’t get to do before their arrival.

For me, that means writing. And writing. And writing. Also, organizing their areas of the house and washing sooooo many new born and premie clothes.

Writing has been good for my mental health. It has given me a feeling of normalcy at a time when things are very topsy turvy. Also, it’s nice being in control of at least one aspect of my life.

The goal right now is to have this next draft done and the book sent to beta and editors by the time the twins come home so that I can focus entirely on them in those first few weeks/months. Normally, this is totally doable as a third draft takes me about a week. Maybe two if the book is super long/the writing needs more massaging. That’s probably not going to happen this time. I’m working in between NICU visits while also trying to prepare for the twins homecoming. I do what I can do and refuse to stress out when it’s not as much as normal.

To be honest, I’m still processing that I’m now a mom. It’s cool. Exciting. But also surreal.

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Responses to “All the things”

  1. Elísabet Avatar
    Elísabet

    Congratulations ❤️

  2. Mary Cruickshank Peed Avatar
    Mary Cruickshank Peed

    I’m sending good thoughts and healing light to you and your babies. Your life is crazy now and is going to get crazier as your children age. And when they’re grown you will miss the crazy like crazy.
    Take care of yourself and enjoy your babies. (Genders, names maybe? )

  3. Elisabeth Avatar
    Elisabeth

    Congratulations to all of you.

    I hope you’re health-wise ok.

    All the best for this new chapter of your life.

  4. Dee Avatar
    Dee

    Congratulations!
    May the babies hit and exceed their development goals and get home soon.
    Wishing you well.

  5. Christine Norrie Avatar
    Christine Norrie

    Congratulations! May much happiness and good health be before the four of you.

  6. Samantha Avatar
    Samantha

    Congrats!!!!! If you feel overwhelmed at any point just know “the days are long, but the years are short.” My mom group said that a lot and it really helped me when I felt overwhelmed! You’ve got this and I’m glad to hear the twins are meeting their development goals! I hope they get to come home soon.

  7. Jennifer W. Avatar
    Jennifer W.

    Congratulations to you and your husband! I hope and pray that they continue to grow and reach their milestones so they can come home soon.

  8. Natasha Avatar
    Natasha

    Congratulations Tobey! Fingers crossed you bring your girls home soon. Enjoy the prepping process and get as much sleep as you can now! Book will be ready when the book is ready.

  9. Pristine Avatar
    Pristine

    Aww, congratulations for the birth of your twin babies! May they grow up healthy and bring more joy and blessings to the family^^/

  10. Katherine Avatar
    Katherine

    Congratulations!

  11. Emily Avatar
    Emily

    Congratulations!!! Becoming a new mom is so amazing, but also so difficult! Go easy on yourself, and enjoy those first few months. It goes way too fast! Good luck to you and your little ones! ❤️

  12. Melissa Petrilla Avatar
    Melissa Petrilla

    Congratulations!!! Really happy for you, and it sounds like all is (or will be) well for you and your girls. Being able to identify what you can control vs can’t, goes a long way towards retaining sanity. ☺️
    Very much looking forward to the new books when they are ready! 🥰

  13. Tink Avatar
    Tink

    Congratulations and hello to babies Shea Allegra and Kira Aileen. I doubt those are their names, but that’s what I’m calling them.

  14. Rachel Avatar
    Rachel

    Awww congratulations Momma. As another twin mom who had NICU time, please take a moment to get as much rest as possible now. I know I had zero sleep once they were home for a few months. So happy for you and your family.

  15. Alice Avatar
    Alice

    Congratulations to you and your husband on your two little girls!!

  16. Renee Avatar
    Renee

    Congratulations. I am glad we have such amazing hospitals in our fair city.

  17. M Richmond Avatar
    M Richmond

    Congrats! My 1st was in the NICU also, and our neighbor girl was born so early she was in doll clothes in the NICU. so I know how that is. PS our neighbor is now a super active 8yr old – you would never know.
    Hang in there!

  18. Carmen Avatar
    Carmen

    My daughter was born at 28 weeks…30 years ago. She’s healthy and a new mom herself. She had to stay in the NICU 9 looooong weeks.

  19. Connie C Avatar
    Connie C

    Congratulations. I’m so happy for you!!! The most important thing is to take care of yourself and those precious little girls.

  20. Josy Avatar
    Josy

    Congratulations! Glad to hear everyone is doing well. Take care ❤️

  21. Lorie York Avatar
    Lorie York

    Congratulations! Enjoy every moment you can.

  22. Janet Ethier Avatar
    Janet Ethier

    OMG Twins you are truly blessed! Congratulations!

  23. Crystal smith Avatar
    Crystal smith

    A will of their own. So glad everything turned out ok. With the first child your like oh they are actually sending this little human home with us. I’m at the age where I give unwanted advice lol. So here it goes…you got this momma!!! I know I’m a Stranger but I’m the mom of 5 adults (well one will be 18 in a month) if you ever just need someone to say hey its OK. Shoot me a message. As for Aileen, woman, you grew two humans. I find it amazing you can write at all!!

  24. Jane M Avatar
    Jane M

    Congratulations! You’re a family of 4 now. May your daughters continue doing well. As a twin and a twin mom you and your husband will do great. You adapt to your situation.

  25. Debbie B Avatar
    Debbie B

    Sending love and healing thoughts your way. As many have said, do what you can when you can and don’t sweat the rest — and rest while you can! Congratulations 🎊!

  26. Christina Avatar
    Christina

    Congratulations to you and your new family. I wish you guys all the best. I LOVE your books, so please don’t stress about writing and deadlines. I hope you just focus on yourself and your daughters’ health. We will all wait patiently for the awesome books. 🥰🥰🥰

  27. Diane Avatar
    Diane

    Congratulations! Blessings on your sweet little girls! Make sure you take time for you the momma!

  28. Megan Avatar
    Megan

    Congratulations! My first son was born at 30 weeks and spent 6 weeks in the NICU. I wish them a short stay and you as much sleep as possible during this transition. There’s nothing like adding more stress to one of the most stressful situations to exist, newborns.

    Take care, mama!

  29. Danisha Avatar
    Danisha

    You got this! Congratulations! My sister had twin boys(now 21). It went so fast for me, I couldn’t imagine how fast it went for her. Books can wait, time with those babies can’t. We will be here waiting .

  30. Andrea Smith Avatar
    Andrea Smith

    Congratulations! I’m glad you and your family are doing well. In my experience, everything feels surreal until you bring the baby(ies) home and the whole family is under the same roof. My daughter came a few months early, and hubby and I felt like we started off behind.

    Question: This odd question has been on my mind since your last post: Do authors give their favorite names to their characters or children? 

  31. Mindy Avatar
    Mindy

    How exciting!! Congratulations!!

  32. Marjorie Best Avatar
    Marjorie Best

    Congratulation’s! You have a very exciting time ahead of you.

  33. Jennifer Kiziah Avatar
    Jennifer Kiziah

    Congratulations and good luck with everything!

  34. Linda Avatar
    Linda

    So very happy for you. Bringing one baby home was tough. Bringing two – well, it will be all hands on deck for a while. Good tidings to you and your new family.

  35. Sam Avatar
    Sam

    Oh wow, congratulations!

  36. Peta Avatar
    Peta

    Congratulations on the arrival of your twin daughters. Wishing you all the very best in the new chapter in your life, in becoming an amazing mum. You are already an amazing author.
    ❤️🥰😘

  37. Emma-Jane Reeve Avatar
    Emma-Jane Reeve

    How wonderful what lovely news, the babes literally couldn’t wait to meet you🤗While you wait for your girls to come home, please take this time to rest and recover yourself. Blessings on you all.

  38. Stephanie Avatar
    Stephanie

    Congratulations and best of wishes

  39. Ani S. Avatar
    Ani S.

    Congrats and happy to hear that everyone is healthy and well. So excited for you. Take all the time in the world and get to know those two new little girls.
    Looking forward to reading the book but if it’s later then at least we will know why and there is absolutely no better reason for it. Take care of you all.
    Though I have to tell you: enjoy the time you are still you .. in 1 or 2 years time you will not be known as you – you will be known as “the mother of x and y”. Not sure how it is in the US but here (in Germany) I lost my identity in kindergarden and school and will be forever remembered there as “X’s mom” and later “y’s mom”. LOL (Yes, I do have a life otherwise … it’s been a while.)

  40. Johanna J Avatar
    Johanna J

    Congratulations! This is such an exciting time in your life (keep telling yourself that when there doesn’t seem to be enough time to do things like, oh, sleep. 😉). Thanks so much for keeping us posted. Take good care.

  41. Sue Avatar
    Sue

    My oldest was in the NICU for almost 2 months. Very stressful but the nurses are top notch there. Sleep now. As much as you want them home there will be no more sleep… edits, try for now or forget it. You will be past exhausted with these 2 blessings. Enjoy them! The time passes too quickly. Mine are 34 and 29 now.

  42. Georgia Avatar
    Georgia

    A new adventure! Congratulations. Girls are a ton of fun.

  43. Wendy Avatar
    Wendy

    My granddaughter was 8 weeks early. She was perfect and came home after 4 weeks. She is 8 years old now and you would never know that she was premature. So I am just picturing this for your sweet little girls.

  44. Amy Avatar
    Amy

    Wow, that will be a story for the future. Congratulations!!!

  45. Katie J. Avatar
    Katie J.

    Congratulations!! My twins also had a suprise arrival and a couple of months in the NICU, its such a crazy and surreal experience. We had these little curtained pumping stations on the nursery floor, all in a line like milking stalls… I used to moo to get the other moms in their stalls to laugh. My twins are 14 now, and I am still in touch with some of the mothers and nurses. NICU is something that brings people together. I hope you make good memories and bring your girls home happy and healthy.

  46. Daniela Avatar
    Daniela

    Dear Tobey, I’m happy for you and on the other hand I’m worried and hope that the babies come home safe and sound. Being a mother is strange. Yesterday the babies were growing inside you and suddenly they’re there and instead of one person you’re suddenly three. I can understand that completely. My baby has been 17 for a few days now. Yes, and it’s true, they grow up so quickly. So – even though I’m addicted to your books – family comes first, time together is precious. I wish you and your family good health and not too many sleepless nights.
    Greetings from Germany
    (or Crete- wäre I am currently staying)
    Daniela

  47. Erin Avatar
    Erin

    How wonderful! Congratulations on baby girls and being a mom. Hardest and best job in the world.

  48. Rebecca Grant Avatar
    Rebecca Grant

    Congrats! So glad you and the twins are doing well!

  49. Madeleine Avatar
    Madeleine

    Awwwww, twin baby girls!! Congratulations on your tiny bundles and being a mom.

    Cannot WAIT for the new Aileen!! A brick will last longer than a day so I’m all for the long page count.

    Thank you for being the most amazing author.

  50. Kelly H Avatar
    Kelly H

    Congratulations! I love being a mother to twin girls. You will get to do everything twice. Plus, there is a lot of cake on their birthdays because they each get their own cake.

    In all seriousness, now that my twins are teens, I look back and wish I had held them more when they were babies. Babies have a terrible habit of turning into big people in a blink.

    It still blows my mind that my body supported the development of two new souls at the same time. Just think during your pregnancy how amazing you were. Your body was supporting three hearts, three brains, six lungs, and six kidneys. Well done mumma!

  51. Keyes Avatar
    Keyes

    CONGRATS!🎉

  52. KathW Avatar
    KathW

    Congratulations on the birth of your babies and wishing you all the best of health.

  53. Sarah Taylor Avatar
    Sarah Taylor

    Congratulations, Mom (and Dad)!

    I am so glad everything turned out well! Take your time, enjoy every moment, we and the characters will be here waiting patiently.

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