From the Trenches
At this point, I am existing on cat naps and the occasional legitimate length nap. I’m pretty sure beta edits are supposed to come back at some point this week. Maybe today. Or tomorrow. It’s kind of all foggy at this point. I’m not even sure what day of the week it is.
I knew having twins would be a challenge. Turns out I was right. The days aren’t so bad. But the nights. Oh, the nights. Throughout our NICU stay we were assured that the silver lining was that our girls would be on a schedule when they came home. And they are. Their schedule. To which neither my husband nor I am privy.
I tried giving the husband a break two nights ago by doing one of the change and feedings by myself. Never again. Three minutes into the attempt, the other started melting down. Put the first down to pick up the second and that one started melting down. It was a never ending cycle that left all three of us upset and awake for hours.
It’s a good thing I got Aileen 7 done and handed off before they came home. Today is the first day I’ve felt like there were coherent thoughts in my brain. It would not have been fun trying to finish that book like this. I still need to write a blurb and commission the cover though. I’ve also been trying to work through the backlog of emails that I let fall to the side over the past few months. I’m up to July so if you wrote me after that, you might get a response soon.
One last thing–if anyone has links to easy recipes or ones that can be doubled and then stored in the freezer, drop them in the comments below. I’ve been lucky in that a few friends made me freezer meals but I’m running low and need to replenish.
One of the twins just woke up and is giving her pterodactyl feeding call. Guess I’ve been summoned.
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Responses to “From the Trenches”
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Try the “what mummy makes” recipe books. Easy and quick to make and you can experiment ready for weaning
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First it will not hurt a baby to cry for a few minutes while you deal with the other baby. They sound so heart broken but just talk to both and try not to feel like it’s an emergency because one baby is crying. It’s hard, our brains are programmed to respond to the sound of a baby in distress but if you can see they are actually not hanging onto the bed by their necks, it’s ok to let them cry.
Second.
https://search.app?link=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.tasteofhome.com%2Fcollection%2Fcrock-pot-freezer-meals%2F%3Fsrsltid%3DAfmBOoq5vSayZTed2eM67QfcGQopmWQctBGfVAVi9LVdvfVUyoJfiG-F&utm_campaign=aga&utm_source=agsadl1%2Csh%2Fx%2Fgs%2Fm2%2F4Get some of those cook in the bag bags for crock pots. Make up a dozen of them. Put them in the freezer. First person up in the morning puts it in the crockpot on low. After dinner you toss the bag and maybe wipe out the crockpot. Wish I was closer because I’m good at this part….
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Good luck with the babies! My SIL has 2 under 2 and is a writer and it’s crazytown. Wishing you the best! Here is my best easy to make, easy to eat, and freezes well recipe
Recipe: Follow instructions on the back of the flour pack.
Get this: https://www.amazon.com/Otafuku-Osaka-Style-Okonomiyaki-Flour/dp/B00MFNL5SG?source=ps-sl-shoppingads-lpcontext&ref_=fplfs&smid=A3M3SKVS5LPZSN&th=1
and this or similar from nearest grocery store: https://www.traderjoes.com/home/products/pdp/organic-shredded-green-and-red-cabbage-with-carrots-055824Add meat of your choice (vegan seitan etc also works), eggs, water. You make exactly like pancakes. Freezes well, can be eaten easily with one hand. I use bacon or ground beef usually. If you aren’t able to add toppings, add spices to the meat when you cook. Otherwise can be a bit bland as it’s meant to be eaten with toppings.
I top with:
https://www.amazon.com/Okonomi-Sauce-17-6oz-by-Otafuku/dp/B00886NJP6?ref_=ast_sto_dp&th=1
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=kewpie+mayo&i=grocery&crid=IWN3NCG0FFH7&sprefix=kewp%2Cgrocery%2C243&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_1_4 -
Easy Chicken Taco Recipe
3 boneless skinless chicken breasts
1 small jar salsa
1 can black beans
1 packet taco seasoningPut the salsa, beans, and seasoning in the crockpot and mix. Nestle the chicken breasts in the mixture, making sure they are covered. Cook on low for for 4-6 hours (InstantPot works too…1 minute pressure cook with 10-minute wait to release pressure). Shred the chicken and return to the pot. Stir.
I love this recipe, because it’s a dump and pour with minimal dishes to clean up. Freeze it flat in ziplock bags, and it thaws in under 10 minutes. It can be used as taco filling, on top of nachos, in quesadillas, or even as a tex-mex pizza topping. This recipe makes enough for 3 meals for me and my husband.
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These two recipes got me and my husband through the first 6 mos when we wanted to feel human. We still make it now that we’re 5 yrs in.
1. Marcella Hazan’s tomato sauce for spaghetti
One onion
One stick of butter
One 24oz can of peeled plum tomatoes
(My addition) 2 tbsp sugarCook altogether til it’s a sauce, put on noodles.
2. Pesto salmon
Wash and pat dry some 6oz-ish salmon filets.
Spread thin layer of pesto on top
Mix equal parts panko and grated/shredded Parmesan
Sprinkle panko/Parmesan topping over pesto
Bake uncovered 375 til panko topping is golden brown-
I adore your recipe # 1 sometimes i add Italian seasoning and a pinch of salt to it and meat if you like after the sauce cooks about 30-45 minutes . I often fix it with angel hair pasta by boiling the water in the microwave and adding a thick handful of pasta to the water and cook on high 3 minutes. Can’t wait to try recipe number 2.
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I don’t have any links but in the last few years I’ve switch to rotisserie chickens when making food.
One of our favorites is very simple Chicken and Noodles. I buy a rotisserie chicken and shred it, add it to a pot and then get a 32 oz bag of frozen reames noodles and dump it in. Add 6 cups of chicken broth and 4 cups of water. Bring to a boil and let it cook until noodles are done. Salt, pepper and oregano.
All one pot, simple and easy. My husband says he likes it best the next day.
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For freezer stash/easy food, what I tend to do is poach a heap of chicken breast (it only takes 20mins in simmering salted water), then shred it by pulling it apart with 2 forks. Then freeze in portions. it’s good for salad, add to rice and frozen veg (defrosted in hot water) then added in a rice cooker, add to soup base which I’ve tossed in a slow cooker. All of which can be frozen (you can freeze rice!). My youngest had health issues and rarely slept more then 2 hours at a time for years (he was the wired newborn awake for 15 hours straight) and we survived on meals like this. RecipeTinEats has lots of quick yummy meals that can be scaled up and down. She has a lot that are quite quick to make or only take 5-10mins prep and you just chuck in the oven. (Also things like frozen chopped veg, frozen mashed potatoes, etc made like much easier. You can also freeze things like sandwiches and burritos and then just chuck them in the microwave or sandwhich press. My mum filled my freezer with things like this with my first baby).
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Take it one day, one hour, or one minute at a time. Just get through the next thing whatever that is… the next diaper, the next feed, etc. and I promise, it will get easier. Sorry no recommendations on food, I’m a terrible cook haha You’ve got this mama!
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https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/howto/guide/freeze-ahead-recipes-parents-be
This site has great recipes.
Hopefully you and your girls find your routine my neighbour has two sets of twins and she found these recipes enjoyable.Look forward to reading your next epic book 📖
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Love your books. Good luck with the twins. Not sure how much you enjoy cooking but my friend Anna has amazing recipes “Anna’s Family Kitchen” and my tip would be to check out those that can be done in 30 mins or in One Pot. One Pot recipes by anyone are a real time & effort saver – highly recommend. My own recipe tip is roasting a whole cauliflower (cover it in olive oil and whatever fancy spice or herbs you might have in the back of your cupboard – I use Zatar – and roast for an hour); use either in 1. A salad with grilled halloumi, 2. A side with fish, or 3. mix into a risotto. You can find Anna on Instagram, Facebook, and this site https://annasfamilykitchen.com
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I really like making verde enchiladas as a batch cooking meal. There are only a few steps to the way I do it and it relies on jarred salsa verde. I like this because you basically toss most things into a pot and then can do other stuff during that time, and then the oven does the rest there isn’t a lot of hands on actual cooking.
1) poach a few chicken breasts, for me 5 makes 2 pans, I poach with cilantro stems, an onion, garlic, salt, and a jalepeno.
2) Shred the chicken, chop the onion garlic and jalepeno and mix in a bowl with as much shredded cheese as you want, some spoons of sour cream, and at least a cup of salsa verde
3) add some salsa verde mixed with sour cream (4:1 ratio) to the bottom of 2 9×13 baking dishes and add about 10 rolled medium sized tortillas to each. Cover with more salsa verde, as much cheese as you want and bake for 25-35 minutes at 350.
4) for the second pan wrap tightly in plastic wrap and freeze. It’s better to freeze without the extra sauce on top and to only add that after thawing.
I serve with salad normally and the rest of the cilantro sprinkled on top along with diced red onion.
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Honestly, mum of 4 here, there are times that as long as the baby is dry, fed and breathing you’ve had a great day. Who cares about anything else. And there are days that you’re going to be strutting around the house saying I’m super mum that has everything sorted.
My friend at the start was the oven and a slow cooker. Anything can be oven cooked, as time spent cooking over a stove with a toddler at my feet and a baby in the carrier was not fun. I also timed bulk cooking when my husband was around. Then there’s meals service for the first 6-18 weeks which is a great option. Growth spurts happen approximately 6 weeks, so I’d plan for the change with frozen food or takeaway.
Life gets a little more settled after 24weeks and solids starts. Never feel guilty for outsourcing and using any tool available to get you through this time.
You’re going an amazing job!!!-
Agree. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. You and your husband will work it out. It’s hard but go easy on easy other.
This week publix had bacon wrapped pork tenderloin with cajun seasoning and I just popped that into the oven and served over rice.
I love it that so many groceries have delivery service to bring your groceries to your front door. 😝
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So a schedule is a myth – especially for NICU babies. Do NOT expect any of the timelines you see or hear from others who did not have NICU babies. They don’t apply. I had 3 premature babies and my first didn’t sleep more than 20 min at a time until over a year old and not more than 2 hours stretches until 4. My third was the best learning to sleep only getting up once per night by around age 3 – but was also only 2 hours chunks prior. But that is the way of NICU. Their systems develop differently – especially digestive systems. It isn’t just “oh they are 12 weeks behind a normal term baby”. It is very different. I was made to feel guilt and like I was doing it wrong with my first. That wasn’t the case. You have to work with their schedule and it won’t match any baby book you read. My neighbor had to deliver her 3rd child months early to save the mom’s life. By the time the baby came home from the NICU she fit into your hand. They needed doll clothes because preemie clothes were too big. And she didn’t sleep. She appreciated hearing that NICU was different because they also had told her once they came home baby would be on a schedule – and it wasn’t even though her other two had been. But now, years later you wouldn’t even know that girl had ever been a premature baby. But for the first few years – milestones are different – some will be “normal” and others won’t. But are just fine for your girls. And they will surprise you in other ways. My first is so smart was always intellectually ahead of his peers but behind them physically until he got much older. Similar for my neighbor as she was so much smaller until later.
Your whole life will be different – even the parts not directly with the twins. Your schedule will be different. Your thought process will be different. That is okay. You are doing great. Don’t feel bad in anyway if you need/want help. Don’t be afraid to utilize any help offered. It doesn’t make you a bad mom. Sleep whenever you can – like a cat – relish the quick naps here and there. They will bring you such joy – it is worth it. Do the best you can and know that you don’t have to feel bad about picking up a crying baby if that is what you feel is right – nor do you have to feel bad if you want to let them cry for a bit. Do what works for you and the girls.
For food – COSTCO dishes are great. Lasagnas and rice bakes and such. Also many grocery stores have meals and sides that you can just cook for 5 min in microwave near the deli sections – sometimes a nice alternative to frozen. Learn instacart 🙂 I wish you sleep and confidence – you can do this!
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I am not Tobey but I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate your supportive message to the new parents. Love and Light.
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I don’t have any easy recipes but I have definitely seen people on the internet who do a catering-ask order from a place like Chipotle and then use it as if it was meal prep for themselves for the next week maybe two. They will freeze some of it back but eat the rest out of the fridge for the first week 👍
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This web site. But this recipe is awesome, and easy. Anything one pot, perfect.
https://simplehomeedit.com/recipe/one-pot-lasagna/ -
Ah, I feel your pain. My youngest had (still has) terrible excema and I didn’t sleep more than 2 hours together until he was nearly two. My husband and I call them the Zombie Years because we were like the walking dead. Anything said and done in that time (if we can even remember it) is forgiven because we were certainly not of sound mind. None of that helps you right now of course, it’s just to say that you are not alone, you will get through the exhaustion and it will get better. Good luck!
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Pulled pork.
large piece of pork (shoulder, picnic, etc) ~10lbs
1 cup water
1 cup vinegar (sometimes yes, sometimes no depending on your tastes)Crock pot 8 hours.
Drain, pull out bones and we’re done. Stir in barbecue sauce (I use stubbs original, stay away from KC style aimed at ribs)
Keeps well, freezes well, and if you keep it dry (no BBQ sauce) can be added as a protein to lots of things
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From one twin mamma to another, ‘Hang in there’. Try and take naps as much as you can. When I had to go back to work, the twins were 10 weeks old but had only been home from the NICU for 6 weeks. I was averaging about 2 hours a night. I ended up finding a night nanny to come in 1 night a week to just blessedly sleep. It was a Wednesday. It was glorious.
Lots of hugs, Rachel
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The first 3 months are the worst. After that it’s not so bad.
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All the roasted vegetables smoothies you can think of. Put pumpkin (cut in half) and potatoes in the oven, forget about them for an hour, then plop them in a blender or robot, add salt and spices (I love nutmeg, popper and little butter) and blend until smooth. Delicious for winter, easy and can keep freezing different blends to vary them during the week
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Family and Friends Love! helping with babies. My advice is to let them. Let them give you time to sleep, or shower or just breath.
Also here is a link to recipes you can dump in crock pot and forget about it until dinner.
https://www.buzzfeed.com/melissaharrison/dump-dinner-recipes -
Saw this recipe on Instagram – pasta bake, dump and in oven https://www.instagram.com/reel/DCH60w0SOuO/?igsh=MXB3ZjBpZXg2MHkzeA==
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Hang in there! The sleep deprivation is no joke. I have an empty nest now but had 2 under 2 at one point and the baby had colic. My manta…”in the grand scheme of life is” this important, required , etc. Most important they are fed, clean and healthy. And bonus if you get a shower that day!! Here is a white chicken chili recipe that takes little time. Can add rice or riced cauliflower. I like it with chips or tortillas: 4 c shredded rotisserie chicken, 2 cans cannellini beans rinsed, 1 jar salsa verde, 1 small can chopped green chilis, 32 oz chicken bone /broth. Add all to pot on stove. Bring to a boil, then simmer 20-30 min. Serve with grated cheese and sour cream and tortillas or chips.
Another idea I do now, pick a protein— rotisserie chicken, chicken breasts or thighs, ground beef- taco flavored and cook enough for 5 days, 10 —to feed hubby too, then roast white or sweet potatoes- peel, chop, sprinkle with olive oil, salt/pepper, garlic powder and roast at 400 for 20 min or until brown cooked through. Pick a veggie or two— tomatoes, broccoli, brussel sprouts, carrots, etc. cut, season, and roast like potatoes. Make individual servings of bowls with protein , potatoes and veggies. Add topping that you like- cheese, ranch dressing, toasted nuts, etc. ( i add kimchi). Heat up when ready to eat. I feel like I won the lottery when I find a bowl left at the end of a long week.
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I’m a big fan of easy, quick and delicious meals. Many of my go-tos are marinade this meat for later hands free baking and air frying. Here are some of my favorites in no particular order:
– salmon teriyaki using salmon portions and Trader Koe’s soyaki sauce or Veri Veri teriyaki sauce 400 degrees F) for about 20 minutes flipping half way
– carnitas tacos/nachos or on to of fries (google recipetin)
-balsamic chicken with roasted tomatoes
-Greek chicken (google recipe tin) -
No idea if its helpful or frustrating for you, but this helped me with the cry it out emotions to get to a better place with sleeping. https://www.thenewbasics.com/en/book-excerpt/sleep/
“How to eat with one hand” is a great book with two relevant sections at this time of babydom: freezer meals and quick snacky meals. They also have excellent mom stories. One of the authors was a single mom of twins, I believe. https://www.amazon.com/How-Eat-One-Hand-Nourishment/dp/0735239991
Ignore advice that you dont like or doesnt feel helpful – including this one! And know yall are doing a great job.
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Not everyone likes stuffed peppers but these work because they are easy and after being frozen, still taste like you just cooked them.
1. Parboil 6-8 RED peppers. Cut in half and line up in a baking pan.
2. Make Spanish rice, any recipe will do but I like this one – https://cookinginthemidwest.com/blog/easy-spanish-rice/#recipe
3. Cook turkey or chicken meat in a frying pan, When cooked add some garlic powder, onion powder, and oregano. Add a jar of prepared tomato sauce. Cook for a minute so the flavors can meld. When the Spanish rice is done add it to the chopped meat, I use about a 50/50 ratio. (Add more jar sauce as needed). Scoop the mixture into the parboiled peppers. Again some sauce to the pan so it stays saucy in the oven. Bake at 350 for about 20 mins. Let cool then put in containers for the freezer. -
Be kind to yourself. When my daughter was around 12 weeks and not sleeping through the night, nothing but a few hours here and there, the world began to feel very grey and grim indeed. I had a very experienced midwife who was there to give advice. It was not very welcome at the time because it challenged me to put my needs further to the front than I felt comfortable. If you don’t look after yourself, then who will look after your babies?
She told me that this parenting business was not something I should try to do alone, that I should look for help from whoever and wherever it could be found, family, friends, throw money at the situation – whatever was necessary!
She also pointed out that my daughter was training me up nicely, to come and entertain her whenever she felt bored. She pointed out that after 20 minutes or so breastfeeding, a breast would be empty of milk so I should feel comfortable putting my girl down to sleep and that if she woke up tearful, maybe leave it a minute so she could decide for herself whether or not to fall back to sleep. ‘Never leave a child more than a minute for each year they’ve lived’ she said, but allow them some space to decide whether they’re crying from surprise or something more interesting.
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Congratulations on your twin daughters! I live alone but love to make pots of soup, stews, etc and freeze half for later. 2 recent recipes i enjoy are Sausages & Peppers (I modify w/lots of extra peppers, chopped up organic squash)… Slow Cooker Sausages, Peppers and Onions Recipe
https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1025352-slow-cooker-sausages-peppers-and-onionsTurkey Chili
https://tasty.co/recipe/slow-cooker-turkey-chili-with-cornbread-dumplings
(I forget the dumplings, add much more spices as well as Serrano Peppers when my stomach is happy.)
https://tasty.co/recipe/slow-cooker-turkey-chili-with-cornbread-dumplings
Thanks, hope you enjoy and I can’t wait for Aileen7!!! She’s my favorite! -
Congratulations! Your post brought me back to when my youngest came home finally from the NICU, and I was so sleep-deprived that I couldn’t remember the PIN for my ATM card. So I went inside the bank to get cash, and then I sincerely couldn’t remember the answers to my own security questions or my address. The Teller gently inquired if I had suffered a recent brain injury.
I survived off of pre-made entrees sold by Trader Joes and Fresh Market for a solid 6 months.
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Try this easy Chicken and Rice recipe:
Two boneless chicken breasts cut into one inch strips
1/2 cup of Italian Dressing
1/2 cup of honey. If you wish less sugar then us 1/3 cup
Marinate chicken for 30-60 minutes
Place chicken into skillet and cook till done.
Some people prefer to discard the marinade and if so just add a little oil and Italian dressing to the pan and cook.
Serve over rice.
If I want an Asian flair I will add about a tablespoon of Coconut Amino Acids or soy sauce otherwise in the last minute of cooking the chicken.
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You can also sauté onion with this and broccoli florets near the end so it’s still bright green and slightly crunchy. You can also do this broccoli trick with the cashew chicken recipe below.
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Easy Asian Oyster Sauce Chicken n Cashews:
Two boneless chicken breast cut into 1-2 inch pieces
Thinly slice onion
One can of drained bamboo shoots
1/4-1/3 cup of raw cashews
1 tblspn of oyster sauce
1 tblspn Soy sauce / coconut amino acids
Sauté onion in 2 tblspn of coconut oil and cook for 5 minutes. Add chicken with the coconut amino acids. When almost cooked through add the bamboo shoots, cashews and then oyster sauce. Cook 1-2 minutes more .
Serve over rice
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I love purple rice by Ralston farms and it’s slightly nutty. Easy to reheat.
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You will all get through it. And tell stories about it.
This is my grandma’s recipe for a potato soup. It’s easy, it’s a lot and it reheats and freezes perfectly. And it is perfect if you are hungry. The amount I put in here feeds a family of four for two meals more or less.
You need:
1 big pot and 1 pan
1 large leek
about 2 kg potatoes should be enough, maybe a bit less
a bit of soup vegetables, get the cut and frozen, at least that is what I do.
2 onions
1 egg
garlic
about 800 g ground meat (half beef, half pork)
olive oil
thyme
savory
salt & pepper (black)Wash and cut the leek into rings. Add to the pot.
Wash, peel and cube potatoes. Should make about double the volume of the leek rings. But you don’t need to be too careful about how much this and that. Add to the pot.
Add water to the pot until the water just about comes up to the surface of the vegetables.
Salt the whole thing generously. And put it on the heat. Cook until potatoes are soft.
Ad thyme, savory and pepper and mash the ingredients in the pot. Keep the consistency a bit chunky.
While the pot cooks make small meat balls from the ground meat, egg, garlic and onions. Salt and pepper.
Fry the meat balls in the pan with a bit of olive oil.
Add the meat balls plus the oil in the pan to the pot after mashing the potatoes and leek.
Season to taste with salt and pepper.
That’s it.There are a few short cuts you can take. Like buying ready made meat balls instead of making them yourself. Or getting cut frozen leeks.
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Congratulations for your new babies.
I only had one and still remember how it was, but time flies so fast, mine in the Uni now and wishing she didn’t grow up so fast ☺️.Anyway, here my favourite website to make a delicious and quick foods.
Her recipes is easy to follow without those fancy ingredients and absolutely yummy too! 😋
https://www.recipetineats.com/categories/Enjoy your time with your new darlings:).
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Congrats to your babies and all my best wishes for your family and your personal time management.
Try this „Ground meat – leek soup“
(It is called soup, but it is really rich and freezes exceedingly well.)4 large leeks, cleaned and cut into rings
1 ℓ stock
1µ browned ground meat
1 red bell pepper
1 handful of mushrooms
120g-150g plain processed cheese
120g-150g herb processed cheese
sea salt
Ground pepper (best from the mill, but any will do)Cook the leek, ground meat, stock, paprika and mushrooms together for approx. 10 minutes until
the leek is cooked. Add the processed cheese and stir until the cheese has dissolved.
Season to taste with salt and pepper. Serve or freeze. -
Good luck! My twin daughters are turning 43, just goes to show you will survive it 🤗. From my blog, a couple of ideas- to freeze:
https://kosherfromjerusalem.com/2024/09/19/slow-cooker-stuffed-peppers-with-meat/
Or to make incredibly quickly-https://kosherfromjerusalem.com/2019/01/03/shamefully-fast-and-easy-broiler-grilled-pargiot/
Enjoy the twins!
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