Calm
I’m feeling somewhat charitable today. While rereading an earlier section of the book to remind myself of past events, I was struck by the thought that you might enjoy it as well. Also, I feel bad because it’s been so long since the last book đ
Excerpt
Himoto always said that the hardest thing in war were the times between. Those periods after one battle but before the next. When you were on standby mode until the next thing happened.
Never had Kira felt those words more keenly.
Uncertainty was a thorn under her skin as her mind went back on forth on possible outcomes. All the while her inner demons whispering in her ear about her failures. The things she could have done but didnât.
Kira closed her eyes and slowed her breathing.
In. And then out.
Over and over again until her fears receded. Not gone. Never gone. But they no longer had a strangle hold over her.
Fear was a funny beast. It was a necessary part of the human and Tuann condition. Without it, you made arrogant mistakes, thinking you were invincible when you were a mere ant in front of the cosmos.
Kira had served with a few people like that in the war. Those who had either lost or gone numb to fear. The ones who started to believe themselves bulletproof. Invariably they always ended up dead. Often in circumstances that could have been prevented with just a little caution.
Yet too much fear was as dangerous as too little, crippling you until you couldnât move without anxiety squeezing you by the throat.
As with all things, it was a balance. You needed just enough to stay alert and aware but not so much that you were rendered useless.
This situation had pressed on every one of Kiraâs trigger points. Every fear and concern/terror that she thought sheâd put behind her.
Her inner demons had shown up and shown out as a result.
Big time.
It was hard to think with them hammering at her skull, demanding action. In another time and space, a version of herself that was younger and slightly more impetuous would have been tempted to answer with violence.
She would have used her primus to throw herself against these walls, over and over until either they or her broke.
Whichever came first.
At that thought, Kira took another steadying breath.
Losing herself to grief and rage had already led her to failing her friends once. Those whoâd survived when the rest of the Curs hadnât. People like Raider and Blue. Jin.
She wouldnât go down that road again. As long as there was a single person alive whom she counted as hers, she would hold the course. She would be the Phoenix she needed to be and not fall apart. Sheâd be their strength and safe harbor in the same way theyâd been hers when they dragged her back to the land of the living.
Thatâs what a leader would do. Itâs what her uncle would do.
Kira used her breathing to center herself. The slow, rhythmic in and outs soothing. Until anxiety and fear no longer ruled her and she existed in a state of quiet contemplation.
Alone with her thoughts, Kira had time to consider. To think and plan so that by the time the walls of her cell peeled back to admit Graydon, she no longer felt she was going to come out of her skin. This was the time for careful schemes. Not the brute force method of solving things that she was known for.
Graydon paused in the opening, one eyebrow quirking at the sight of Kira lying peacefully on the bed. âI must admit, coli. I wasnât sure what Iâd be walking into but this calm of yours is unexpected.â
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Responses to “Calm”
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Interesting… I’m curious if anyone has any idea when the new Firebird book is likely to be available? (and I know any estimate is just that, an estimate.)
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Yeahhhh! I canât wait, but sooo curious about how Kira ended up in a cell with Graydon as her jailerâŠoops wait, it may be because of her breaking out the enemy in the last book to find the ancients home planet and thus Kiraâs niece
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That would be hypocritical of Grayson. He helped her with the prison break. If she was locked up for that shouldnât he have been in the cell next to her?
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Thanks so much for the âglimpse.â The next Firebird canât come soon enough for me. In the meantime Iâll have to do some re-reads to tide me over. Sigh,
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What have you allowed that girl to get into now! T doesn’t just stand for Tobey. T is for tease too!
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What mischief have you allowed that girl to get into now? T isn’t just for Tobey. Stands for tease too! Can’t wait!!!
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This book canât come soon enough!!
Love this!! -
I cannot wait!!! This is my absolute favorite series!!!
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Canât wait to read the whole thing, youâre amazing!
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Maybe Jin got her into trouble⊠can not wait to read more!
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Given the other couple of snippets weâve gotten, I wonder if Jinâs mom is trying to keep them in the palace and Kira wanted to get Jin out, and being put in a âtime outâ cell was the result. And she just had to wait for Graydon to come politically rescue her.
Regardless, SO EXCITED FOR THE BOOK!!!
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Glorious!
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Oooo…can’t wait for more..sigh, I’ve missed these characters…
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Hope the babies are doing well. Love the series. Can wait for the next one.
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Loving these excerpts in the upcoming book. So looking forward to the new book.
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Exciiiiited for this next part! My favourite series by far. Thank you
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Love this treat! Thank you and hope your, your husband and the girls are doing well. Happy Motherâs Day toođ
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Love this treat! Thank you and hope your, your husband and the girls are doing well. Happy Motherâs Day too. It will be a special one for yâall.
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Is Kiraâs uncle still alive?
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The thing that most drew me to Kira and has me reading this series over and over is that her worst suffering was behind her, and she kept building her potential for good outcomes. I’ve dearly been hoping that you’ll devote a book in her series to exploring her good/new/changing relationships– with the 43, with her people, Graydon, the new Jin, etc. That you’ll let us revel in and learn more about her new titles– speaking to the luong, beloved of maive, daughter of Roake, the special bands on her wrists from the first smaller trial. This latest excerpt has me worried that instead of expanding the arc of healing, growth, unity, hope, success… You’ll plunge us into worse darkness, betrayal, unfairness, loss, etc. And honestly, I love this series because it helps me escape to a world where good keeps winning. Where Kira brings good people together to do good things for all. Not a perfect world, but one where we can trust Kira and her allies to rise above and conquer. Not sure I could read a book where Kira loses everyone and evil seems to be winning wholesale.
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